Close your eyes and hold your breath

The men I've dated seem to get older and older. Not even that, but it's more the acceptable age range is broadening. I've always found people slighly older than me, but age is such a difficult requirement.

When I was 16, I remember finding friends online, trying to find people like me. The 18 year olds I wanted to know weren't interested, and the ones who were interested had a child fetish. 19 was so old, but that's what I wanted. I was open to maturity, but it didn't come. No one can trust a minor, not even the state.

Even now, there are times when my age comes into question. A slightly older man (25) found me on myspace; we started talking. I realized he was inept quick off the bat--he couldn't cook and knew very little outside of buying his frozen food, writing, and paying money for entertainment. Oh well, I needed friends in LA and maybe he could have taught me something. Eventually I realized that he thought I could fulfill his younger, more attractive, male fantasy, nothing else. "Something about a 24 year old," he explained. "It's a matter of experience. When I talk to another 24 year old there's a connection that's not there with the younger crowd." The final jab was as offensive as a dream laid bare, "One day many men will have to realize that we don't like them for the brains."

I wasn't about to take that from someone who doesn't know how to make cupcakes. (Didn't every child make cupcakes for birthday parties?) Thank god I never met him.

His example has it's lessons. Age is about experience (and health). I have experienced a lot all around the world, but there is only so much you can do by the age of 20. If I date a 30 year old can I hope to compare, or would the relationship be admiration based--me to his experience (money), him to my youth (body)? Then again, I'm not sure that's a bad thing.

How about I just make sure they don't look too old.