The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. --Ayn Rand



I have had a couple of telling dreams in the last few days. I probably dream more than I know, so these are telling more because I thought them important enough to remember after I woke up.

There are really only two scenes that I remember accurately in the two different dreams.

In the first dream, I was in a room—possibly a dance club—with a lot of gay people. There was one short muscle-y guy around my age who I was particularly attracted to. It was dark, but I remember I was standing behind him and then brushed his neck. He cocked his head, then turned slightly and we kissed. The kiss intensified, he turned completely facing me and then I vividly remember taking my hand and pushing up the back of a heavy cotton sweater to press on the nape of his back.

Then he said, “Well hello,” and I awoke.

The next dream was similar, except with an evil twist.

It was night once again. There was a small town surrounded by forest, and everyone was meeting in the central square. I was sitting down with Sylar, cuddling behind him. Everyone was scared—there was a sensation of something satanic. Everyone except for the two of us. We seemed to know what was going to happen.

On the border between the town square and the forest, there was a fenced-off region. It appeared to be a giant bird cage that had been left vacant for years. In the middle was a sink hole. Somehow, it was moaning.

Sylar and I stood up to take a look. No one else was willing to get up close to the sink hole. We stared at it for a while, and something seemed to be pushing up out from the ground. We rushed back to a safe distance and sat down again, me spooning Sylar, and watched.

There was an explosion, people started screaming and running. He turned his head around stuck out his tongue, and we flicked our tongues, smiling. Sylar and I were happy.

After a few days, some of the specifics are blurry, but there seem to be two important messages to extract.

First, I’m horny, and apparently kissing someone from behind is particularly appealing to me.

Second, I think I want a boy to be evil with me.


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