The internet is for porn

GB: Get one about eight inches long, no more than six around, and let it vibrate as well.

That's how I went on an embarrassing search for my first dildo. I only have a few comments about this because it is taking a lot of effort to allow anyone at all to read this.

Thank god for the internet, and the plethora of options there. I could never have stomached an adult toy store. Plus, I probably would have spent a fortune on the first thing I found because I'd be too frightened to shop around.

Anyway, armed with my friend's advice I found a "suitable" pink (I'm going to die) vibrator that will hopefully be small enough to hide away from anyone I know. I'm going to die.

It comes in a couple days. Then I'm going to hide away and kill myself... in a sense...

By the way, if anyone hasn't seen Avenue Q (the picture; "The Internet is for Porn" is a song), you should.