The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. --Ayn Rand



Were you always this gay, or were you just protecting me?

That's so cute

For Jazz ex, I met your 10 minutes, and I raised you 10 more. :-P

Sunday night I went to see The Descent. I would have thought the movie was scary if it was just about the people crawling around the cave slowly going crazy. No need for the flesh-eating bat people. Actually, if they left out the sci-fi part and stuck to people being trapped in a cave I would have been much more frightened. Maybe it would have even reached the nightmare level. As it was, The Descent was good for a lot of cheap scares. Still, it was the best scary movie I've seen in years.

On Saturday I bought new jeans. MM and I went to third street promenade to browse, and with help from MM and the staff of Lucky Jeans, I finally found a new favorite pair that will match my favorite shirt. New clubbing outfit? I'm excited. Now I just need new shoes.

Oh! Oh! I'm moving out tomorrow. I have to be out of the apartment by 5:00pm. Where will I live until I can move into the dorm? How will I say goodbye to my friends in LA? Is there still time to celebrate with expensive French food? The great mysteries of my life.

Thank you, Transamerica, for the time you paid me to do nothing. Also, for the $85.50 you paid me to run around, stretch, do pull ups, push ups, etc in the crappy little basement gym of your's. It's been hot. I probably won't work for you ever again. :-)

For a peek at my cutesy date on Saturday, hit the jump.

MM's roommate invited us both out to dinner at Cynthia's. Yes, someone volunteered to be the third wheel. He had made reservations before MM confirmed, but it ended up being rather enjoyable. I got to meet the new owner and I made the roommates laugh a lot. He seemed nice, but more of a "connector" type that likes to have many acquaintances rather than a few close friends. I also got the impression that he hooked up a lot when he was younger.

Lying in bed, watching a movie. I start talking about how odd it is that I met MM at RAGE, and that if Gabby hadn't pushed me into him, I might not have danced with him.

Of course he has the best possible rebuke. (I wasn't even expecting one)

M? (roommate) asked MM who he thought the cutest boy in the place was--who he would sleep with. He scanned the club and then pointed out the boy with glasses at the bar. (I don't remember hanging around the bar) When I finally did dance with him, he had been circling the prey for a few minutes already.

What a cute Saturday night.



If you bore me, I will do everything in my power to smite you. My most entertaining way of smiting Transamerica recently materialized: going to the gym.

I was planning to use my lunch break to go to the gym, followed by devouring my home cooking discretely at my desk. Reality, though, tends to be more fun. I still take my normal hour lunch break after the gym. Essentially I am getting paid to work out.

Today, being early Friday, I had to cut my time short so that no one noticed. I scurried into work at 6:45, ran down to the gym in the basement a little before 7:00. I finished my workout at 7:30, then made it back to my office by 7:40. (I must have taken a two minute shower) This is still early enough that no one is in yet. To be fair, my timesheet claims that I arrived at 7:00, rather than 6:45. I will have to do the same shorter workout on Monday to avoid suspicion.

So far my smiting has earned me $67.50. After Monday that total should jump up to $81.00, and I thought only professional athletes were paid to stay in shape. :: evil grin ::

In other news, I checked off another item off my list this week, and this weekend I should get two more out of the way. Sadly, I will not be going to San Diego before I leave LA, and Universal Studios is looking doubtful. I'll make up for them with expensive shoes.



Last night was date #3 with MM, and I was very pleased, even though I paid for dinner. Shouldn't he be paying for dinner so that he can date a 20 year old? Hmm.

We ended up at a restaurant called Cheebos, then eventually back to his place for a movie, after which he asked me to spend the night. I did, of course, but I think I ended up getting about a whole three or four hours of sleep (details omitted in the name of decency) before I rushed home at 5am to get ready for work. I

I got home a few minutes early, so I hop onto my computer. My GAIM (a better version of AIM) showed that JT had been online recently. My away message said, "Date #3." A little blue light turned on in my head, and a frown etched into my face. He must have seen it.

I feel bad because I would much rather date JT, but he is convinced the age gap is going to be an issue. Is it horrible to date someone else, when I'm not so secretly hoping that JT will swoop? Probably. Probably=yes. I need to proposition him one more time, explain the situation, then deal with it.

Also, an old friend who was mysteriously awake (did he come home from a late night escapade, too?) invited me out for breakfast. Instead I scarfed a McMuffin looking think (with bacon, mmm) in the SBC cafeteria. I was wholly satisfied.

Right now I am a zombie. I might just die at the gym today... in two hours.

Cat and Girl do it again.

Not-Ironic Capitalist Tee



I went to the gym! It has been three long months, but I grabbed my drooping ass and scampered to the company gym. See, my co-worker had a week pass, which I was planning to use at some point. This being my last week in the office, I decided it was perfect timing.

Yesterday, my first day down there, I began what came to be a measly two mile run, with a stretch break at the mile marker. As I mounted the only available machine, the man running next to me caught my eye. He was possibly the most attractive person I have seen in the building. I could see every muscle, even through his clothing. He was more defined than the beautiful men in these Dieux du Stade pictures. Naturally I'm a little self conscious after three months of no running or lifting, but part of my stretch break was devoted to watching him run.

I was able to do some stretching, a few sets of pull ups, push ups, and crunches on a exercise ball before my 1 hour limit was over. My not so attractive, pseudo gym outfit was drenched in sweat. I also found that the showers are surprisingly small, and I didn't see many people using them. Odd.

While fixing my hair in the mirror I spotted the same adonis changing into some very small white briefs with some colorful designs on them. He was, uh, large, but older than I thought. I hadn't seen all the small features running next to him without my glasses on. So there is hope for me after I turn 21, hah!

After work I attempted to buy shoes... and jeans... and a temporary gym outfit at Century city. It was a disaster. Foot Locker sucks for people who want to look cute while working out, and this is the ONLY time I've tried someone on at Banana Republic that didn't make me look amazing.

Someone hates me. My legs are sore. Tomorrow my arms will be sore.

My favorite pictures from Dieux du Stade after the jump. Warning, one nude.


Red is the color of passion

I need new shoes.


A shirt after my own heart

Bacon is a vegetable!

A plague on you and your spawn

My company's filter has wisened up to dlist. It is now blocked along with myspace, facebook, and anything else I can use to entertain myself... besides blogs.

Die, smartfilter, die!

One day I will kill you.

Well on my way

Recently, I've actually had work to do at work. Amazing! All that extra money people pay for life insurance actually creates something! The weekend, too, was more exciting than usual. I was able to check off a few numbers from my list of ten things to do.

2 --
This is a half check. I still need to make four more dishes.

5 --
I went on a date with the 30 year old from the club to Paru's Vegetarian Indian on Sunset. It was delicious and beautiful. Then, we 'watched a movie.'

6 --
I've so far met 30 year old, Charles who lived in France, and a group of four Taiwanese women who are studying to teach English at USC. (we chatted in Chinese, which made my day.) Definitely more than my original 4 person plan.

8 --
I went to the beach for the first time in three years, and to the gay beach for the first time ever. I may have been the whitest person ever to walk that beach. My camera battery died before I took one picture, and there was the strongest rip tide that I've ever experienced. Still, it was fun and it reminded me that I need to get my abs to the nearest gym.

I did a fair amount of flirting with 30 year old.

Things left to do, not in order of importance.
1 -- Hollywood sign
3 -- San Diego, which looks rather unlikely now.
4 -- Universal Studios. Probably during the week.
7 -- Buy new jeans, a belt, and shoes
10 -- Sex.

A slight recap of the weekend antics. Both roommates were gone this weekend--one at home and the other at her 21st birthday party in Vegas--so I took the opportunity to do some Friday night cuddling. Very satisfying. Saturday I cooked, went to the beach with my friend, ate at In-and-Out (swoon) and attended a party in Azusa that was just as horrible as I expected. At least we got out at 1am, before the boredom knocked us out cold.


Cheezy Poofs

Shoes! I mean, Awesome!

South Park, besides being my favorite cartoon social commentary, is also one of the few shows that's gotten better over time. It so deserves the emmy.


Dreams and Sex

My nights are littered with dreams now. I don't quite understand, and I don't remember many of them. I will lie down to on my floor mattress, push my body against some pillows, jostle a bit, then three or four hours later I'll be startled awake by my dream.

This has never happened before. During the lazy nights in China I would have a lot of colorful dreams of Minnesota, but these dreams are actually interupting my beauty sleep! Without that I might revert back to my Frankenstein's monster-like alter ego, who will forever be christened Lynette.

A few fragments from my most recent dreams:

I am lying on a tarp laid down on the only level area on the side of a sloping mountain. Everything is covered in long grass just turning yellow. The sky is sad and ready to rain--spots of black clouds, chilly, with small bursts of wind. I can see no civilization beyond the mountains. (I was reminded of LangMuSi in SiChuan, when we climbed for 2 hours to reach the highest prayer flags we've ever seen. If we looked away from the village, on the top of the mountain, there was no sign of any other cities. But, there was one nomad caring to a flock of sheep. We yelled, "Ni hao! Ni hao ma?")

The mood is utterly devastating, and I am almost crying. My mother walks around the bend of the mountain, begins talking, and I wake up.
I am in my apartment, and my leg starts to itch. I look down and see a small red spider crawling on my leg. I reach in to kill it, and it puts it's two front legs up in the air as a warning (for spiders, that could be a sign that they're extremely venemous).

I jump up and shake it off.

As I walk around my apartment, I notice that these spiders are living in ever corner. Hundreds of these tiny little monsters. I accidentally step into a corner, and I wake up.
In my apartment once again, but this time I have the feeling I am in Minnesota at the same time. My mother is coming home to visit the only boy I've ever fallen for (tryst in China). She arrives, and we're all very jovial. He starts chatting and laughing with her in the dining room, while I go back to my room.

Through the door I find a very attractive man. I was expecting him. He has his shirt off, and soon I lock the door and we go to my bed. We have sex while my man and my mother are laughing.

They stop laughing and I wake up.

The last was arguably the most horrifying of the three, but I am still freaked out. I can't sleep.

In other news, JT is no longer in CA, but I received no good-bye. I think it's unlikely that the 30 year old date will schedule another date without pressure. I found a nice ageism entry is someone's blog. Also, I started to remember why I get depressed reading/writing in blogs.

I need to finish up my books.